Ramblings From The Litter Tray of Life

I woke up laughing at 0641

Posted by graycat on 28 April 2008

I’ve woken up quickly, I’ve woken up slowly, I’ve woken up screaming but this must be the first time I’ve woken up laughing ….. and it was all due to a dream! It’s starting to fade now but I’ll do my best to replay it for you

*tacky dream scene fade in*

…… I’ve just finished a 3-on-1 boxing match as some form of punishment (I know but it’s a dream, OK?) and have been sent back to my corner whilst the losers sort out what’s going on.

As I’m stood on my platform it raises up and away from the ring toweling my sweaty forehead and looking around this huge room full of people in their own areas or booths carrying out various business opportunities. Across the hall I spot Kelly Brook looking bored stiff at all the suitors trying to win her attention. Now as I’m just taking of my shirt (it’s a very nice dress and pressed cotton one if you’re interested) and I’m getting it kinda stuck on my sweaty shoulders when across the hall I see Kelly watching me, aping my actions and making fun of me.

Well, not to be out done I stare blankly at her and peel said shirt off my sweat dripping body then looking her blankly in the eye I proceed to break out what can only be described as “my sexy dance”! I mean hips are a wiggling, arms are a going and fingers are clicking in the most ridiculous fashion ….. kinda like normal really. All the time not an expression has passed my face.

All we going well …. until I got too close to the edge of my platform and slipped off! Being the athletic god that I am, I quickly twisted round and made it look like I’d intentionly slipped to the lower platform. With my back now to her I shake my money maker like a good un and jump down in amongst my staff with a big smile on my face.

“What’s up with you?” my head of staff asks

Hardly able to contain my own giggling I authoritorly reply “I’ve just busted out my sexy dance at Kelly Brook!” and deteriorate into fits of manly giggles! My head of staff looks on bemused.

Once I’d composed my self I walked out onto the shop floor and cast my gaze in her direction only to observer her herself struggling to recover from a serious fit of laughing. I now faced my appreciative audience, stood proudly upright with my arms out to the side, crossed one in front and took a deep bow … all to the silent applause of the gorgeous lady.

“Thank you”, I mimed “Out of ten?” I pantomimed

“Seven” was the gesture I got back

“Seven??! That it??” I replied in mock disgust

“OK, seven and a half” she gave in to before gesturing something I couldn’t follow.

“What?” I shrugged

Routing around she picked up some marketing material that had been left by a suitor and showed it to me. A big red envolope with “Woops!” written in strong black letters. She gestured at me, then it and then falling.

“Busted!” I smiled back and bowed again …..

*Fade back to waking*

“I busted out my sexy dance at Kelly Brook!” I smiled to myself.

Checked the clock and it was 0642.

Time to go back to sleep.

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